Welcome to my brain. I have puppies.

1. There should not be a coat hanger attached to the bottom of your scarf... WHILE it's around your neck. Your husband should have told you before you walked into a restaurant. The old prune probably just wanted a good laugh.

2. I look like a Christmas tree in these scrubs; just string lights on me.

3. Puppies are made of everything good in this world with a dash of demon in them when they get in the chew mode. My feet are NOT made of rubber and don't say: "Made in China".

4. What were today's middle schoolers fed as children? Slut-o's? You should not be showing off your cleavage.

5. Puppy/cat poots should be harnessed and used in biological warfare. They're lethal...

6. If you think you're a great singer then never record yourself singing... It'll ruin your delusion.

7. I don't care how much you weigh, but don't complain about how hard it is to lose weight while dipping bread in ranch. Juicy contradiction.

8. My boy radar is broken. It always points me to the needy, overly-attached, druggies. Anyone know a good repair shop?

9. Movies are massages for the brain... Unless they're scary. Then they're acupuncture.

10. People don't know how to door. If there is a handle then there is no reason for you to push on the glass. Maybe I should hand you a glass of water and a rag and tell you to take 15 minutes to clean it off.

Growing up has made me realize that life is a conundrum or an enigma (whichever you prefer). It's true that life flies by, because it feels like yesterday I was sitting in my eighth grade Science class with braces and munching on gummie bears. My biggest worries were  if my friends and I would be put in the same group and if my crush liked me. I'm now a senior and college applications have become my reality. Worrying about whether or not my GPA and my "extra-curriculars" are good enough was never on my agenda until this year. I reminisce about my earlier years and wonder where all that time went, but yet I keep wishing that I already had my college degree and are working in my chosen profession. My mother, being the wise women she is, said, "Don't wish you're life away." Then it hit me like a big ol' bag of bricks that that is where all my time has gone. I've been so worried about growing up and being an adult that I've completely disregarded my present. Lemme tell you kids that college applications, having a job, and putting gas in your car is not all it's cracked up to be. It's just... S.T.R.E.S.S.F.U.L. Don't rush growing up, because growing up means you have to deal with adult responsibilities that leave you in a perpetually stressed out mood. My senior year is flying by and my restlessness is eating at me. I'm ready to get out there in the real world, but then I realize that I don't even know SENIOR SUPERLATIVES. Seniors are supposed to be so excited for those, but I don't even know who won what. I didn't even know we were supposed to order caps and gowns until the day before the order forms were due. I can't even wear my senior class ring. This is all thanks to my CNA class teacher, because we're off campus during these "important" announcements and we're not allowed to wear rings. All the excitement of being a senior has been overlooked. It's quite sad. There's a quote that says... well I can't find the quote at the moment. However, it says that people spend half their lives wishing for time to move faster, and the other having wishing it would slow down. That is quite a true statement. So I've decided that the gigantic clock of life should stop being so wonky and just go a normal pace.

My rant is finished, so please enjoy this insanely adorable/funny/gross video about babies being babies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FvTVWjLiHM

FIN