Welcome to my brain. I have puppies.

1. There should not be a coat hanger attached to the bottom of your scarf... WHILE it's around your neck. Your husband should have told you before you walked into a restaurant. The old prune probably just wanted a good laugh.

2. I look like a Christmas tree in these scrubs; just string lights on me.

3. Puppies are made of everything good in this world with a dash of demon in them when they get in the chew mode. My feet are NOT made of rubber and don't say: "Made in China".

4. What were today's middle schoolers fed as children? Slut-o's? You should not be showing off your cleavage.

5. Puppy/cat poots should be harnessed and used in biological warfare. They're lethal...

6. If you think you're a great singer then never record yourself singing... It'll ruin your delusion.

7. I don't care how much you weigh, but don't complain about how hard it is to lose weight while dipping bread in ranch. Juicy contradiction.

8. My boy radar is broken. It always points me to the needy, overly-attached, druggies. Anyone know a good repair shop?

9. Movies are massages for the brain... Unless they're scary. Then they're acupuncture.

10. People don't know how to door. If there is a handle then there is no reason for you to push on the glass. Maybe I should hand you a glass of water and a rag and tell you to take 15 minutes to clean it off.

Growing up has made me realize that life is a conundrum or an enigma (whichever you prefer). It's true that life flies by, because it feels like yesterday I was sitting in my eighth grade Science class with braces and munching on gummie bears. My biggest worries were  if my friends and I would be put in the same group and if my crush liked me. I'm now a senior and college applications have become my reality. Worrying about whether or not my GPA and my "extra-curriculars" are good enough was never on my agenda until this year. I reminisce about my earlier years and wonder where all that time went, but yet I keep wishing that I already had my college degree and are working in my chosen profession. My mother, being the wise women she is, said, "Don't wish you're life away." Then it hit me like a big ol' bag of bricks that that is where all my time has gone. I've been so worried about growing up and being an adult that I've completely disregarded my present. Lemme tell you kids that college applications, having a job, and putting gas in your car is not all it's cracked up to be. It's just... S.T.R.E.S.S.F.U.L. Don't rush growing up, because growing up means you have to deal with adult responsibilities that leave you in a perpetually stressed out mood. My senior year is flying by and my restlessness is eating at me. I'm ready to get out there in the real world, but then I realize that I don't even know SENIOR SUPERLATIVES. Seniors are supposed to be so excited for those, but I don't even know who won what. I didn't even know we were supposed to order caps and gowns until the day before the order forms were due. I can't even wear my senior class ring. This is all thanks to my CNA class teacher, because we're off campus during these "important" announcements and we're not allowed to wear rings. All the excitement of being a senior has been overlooked. It's quite sad. There's a quote that says... well I can't find the quote at the moment. However, it says that people spend half their lives wishing for time to move faster, and the other having wishing it would slow down. That is quite a true statement. So I've decided that the gigantic clock of life should stop being so wonky and just go a normal pace.

My rant is finished, so please enjoy this insanely adorable/funny/gross video about babies being babies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FvTVWjLiHM

FIN

Spellbound

Normally I wouldn't write a review on a book, but this particular book has slipped me under a spell. It's hard to not keep thinking about, because it is lurking in my subconscious just waiting to secretly resurface. Granted I did just finish it yesterday! It's depressing, soothing, confusing, exciting,  intriguing, and just mind boggling. I had wanted to read it for a while, but life has gotten busy and time to read has slipped away. However, it has been recently made into a motion picture featuring Emma Stone. Yes, this book is called: The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

Now I've read the backs of numerous books that have claimed to relate to the craziness that is known as teenagers and I eagerly picked them up to read. Alas, I was left disappointed and angry that I wasted money on it. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is completely different. It's written as a series of letters that are addressed to a "friend" from a boy named Charlie. It's quite evident that Charlie has issues connecting to the world and spends far too much time inside his own head. He writes about his first year of high school and it begins with him mentioning his friend that had committed suicide. Too begin with that is a brilliant yet depressing hook. It sucks you in. The best part of the whole book is the character Charlie.

You follow him through his first friend making, his first crush, his first bad party, his first kiss, and everything in between. He would appear to be oblivious to the people that see him, but through his letters you find out that he is quite brilliant. He observes the things that people don't pay attention too. He takes the time to really listen to people and to pick apart who they truly are. People are too obsessed with themselves to notice the things Charlie does. He has a pure and kind soul that people take advantage of. You hurt when he hurts and you wish he wouldn't smoke pot/drugs/cigarettes and drink. He becomes someone you will want to protect. Charlie will work his way into your life.

You will also fall in love with Sam, Patrick, and Charlie's immediate family. Of course they all have their stupid fights, but they look out for Charlie. They all know he's weird, but they all try to help him in their own way. Sam and Patrick are high school seniors, but they befriend and love Charlie. They give him life experiences he would've never had without them. Because of them Charlie gets to be a "normal" high school kid. He gets to make crazy mistakes and have fun. Charlie's family also give him a shoulder to lean on and give him the help he needs.

Throughout the whole story you will realize that Charlie's issues are much deeper then they appeared. It'll slowly be revealed what caused him to be this way and it will leave you dazed, angry, and happy. The way this plot line is woven in to the story is absolutely amazing and really keeps you interested. It will hold your attention the whole time. This book is not only a wonderful story, but it is well written and most definitely quotable. Everyone should read it. It will keep you thinking and make you look at life a different way. People should take a few notes from Charlie.

Take Note

Lately, I've realized a few things that I guess I had really never paid attention to. I've learned them from being at school, driving, and working as a hostess where I constantly have to deal with people. So here is a compilation of the things I've learned:

1. People are just plain rude. They only worry about themselves and don't stop to take the time to consider what they're actually doing/saying to you. So sorry honey, but your feelings don't matter to anyone but you.

2. Hostesses hate when people ask for specific tables. It throws the whole rotation off, because we have to seat the waitress next in line. SO please DON'T just pick your own table. 

3. In the restaurant business the words "double seating/sat" are the equivalent of saying "EFF YOU!" Waitresses hate getting two tables in a row and as soon as they say "double sat" you know you're in trouble. Some waitresses also just like saying it even though they know they've had the same table for more then 20 minutes and can handle another. Sorry, but you shouldn't be a waitress then.

4. Other people stink at driving. They probably failed coloring in the lines in kindergarten, because they can't keep they're car in their lane. Maybe part of the driving test should be to color in the lines...

5. Indie pop/rock is pretty AH-mazing. I never realized that I could technically be considered a hipster until two weeks ago when I randomly googled the genres of my favorite bands. Check out Of Monsters and Men, Marina and the Diamonds, Ellie Goulding (yes she IS considered indie pop), and Mumford and Sons. 

6. You shouldn't hurry up childhood or High School. Senior year when you're filling out applications you will realize that it all flew by WAY too fast. Asking father time to slow down also never works. In fact I think he intentionally speeds it up. :P Enjoy childhood, because nap time and no homework is great kids. 

7. My face is crooked. Yeppers my nose turns to the side a little. This might explain why I walk crooked, hang things crooked, and can't draw straight lines. Gotta love the things your friends notice. It explains so much. 

8. Stress makes people act in funny ways. Honestly, everyone wants to rip each others' throats out! Stress= taking anger out on others for no reason. Always a pleasure. 

That Awkward Moment...

1. When old men with no teeth check you out in Walmart. (I'm not shopping for a hot date. Sorry!)

2. When you find your underwear in places it shouldn't be. (Like under your sink.)

3. When you aren't even listening to Jeopardy but blurt out a correct answer. Where did it come from!?! 

4. When you don't know who that blonde girl is and you just sit there feeling like she's staring into your soul. (Jenna Marbles. Look her up. NOW!) 

5. When you are swinging your hands as you walk and accidentally feel up the person's butt in front of you. (Or was it on purpose? O.o) 

6.  When you see someone you think you know so you intently stare and then they look at you and you realize... it wasn't them. 

7.When you quote a children's show that is way below your age and NO ONE gets it. 

8. When you pee your pants a little from giggling too much. Psh if you've never done that then you don't laugh enough. 

9. When you make a racist joke next to the race being joked about. Way to kick in filter. Love you to!

10. When you're in the car making funky faces and the driver next to you thinks you're "special". 

That awkward moment when I can't think of any other awkward moments... Yeah so that's all folks.